Present Over Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Moment and Letting Go of Perfectionism
In today’s fast-paced world, many of us are constantly juggling responsibilities, striving for success, and trying to meet unrealistic standards—often driven by a desire to achieve “perfection.” This can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a sense of disconnection from ourselves and those around us. In her book Present Over Perfect, Shauna Niequist encourages readers to abandon the exhausting pursuit of perfection and instead embrace the beauty of being present in the moment. It’s about learning to slow down, let go of the need to impress, and choose joy and peace over stress and perfectionism.
The Concept of Present Over Perfect
At the heart of Present Over Perfect is the idea that perfection—in work, in relationships, in personal achievement—isn’t the goal. Perfection can be paralyzing, and it often prevents us from experiencing life fully. Instead of constantly striving for flawless outcomes, Niequist advocates for a life focused on presence—being fully engaged, connected, and authentic in each moment.
Niequist, a writer and speaker, acknowledges that this mindset shift is not easy. We live in a society that often equates success with perfection, rewarding those who appear to have it all together. The pressure to perform, to achieve, to never fall short can leave us feeling empty and disconnected. However, as she writes, “When we give up perfection, we make space for presence.” By choosing to focus on the present moment, we can create deeper connections with others and cultivate a more fulfilling life.
Key Themes from Present Over Perfect
- The Pursuit of Peace Over Perfection
The book explores the notion that perfectionism—whether it’s in our work, relationships, or appearance—doesn’t bring lasting fulfillment. Instead of obsessing over every detail and demanding perfection from ourselves, Niequist invites readers to seek peace. Peace comes from embracing who we are, letting go of expectations, and learning to be content with the imperfect beauty of life. Key takeaway: Instead of striving for the flawless “perfect” outcome, focus on creating peace in the process. Perfection often leads to stress, whereas peace brings calm and contentment. - Letting Go of the Need to Please
One of the core struggles that many people face, particularly women, is the desire to please others. This often results in overcommitting, burning out, and neglecting personal needs. In her book, Niequist encourages us to stop living for others’ approval and instead focus on what truly matters to us—our well-being, our values, and our relationships. Key takeaway: We don’t need to be everything to everyone. It’s okay to say no and prioritize what aligns with our core values, even if it means disappointing others occasionally. - Creating Space for What Matters
When we constantly chase perfection, we fill our lives with noise, distractions, and obligations that drain us. Niequist urges readers to clear the clutter—both physically and mentally—so that we can create space for what truly matters. Whether it’s spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing personal passions, or simply resting, presence allows us to experience life more fully. Key takeaway: Clear out the “extras” in your life—unnecessary commitments, distractions, and perfectionist tendencies—so you can create space for meaningful experiences. - Embracing Imperfection
Present Over Perfect also emphasizes that we are all imperfect beings, and that’s perfectly okay. Embracing imperfection isn’t about giving up on our goals or aspirations, but about recognizing that mistakes and failures are part of life. These imperfections make us human, relatable, and capable of growth. Instead of being ashamed of our flaws, we should celebrate them as part of our unique journey. Key takeaway: Embrace imperfections as opportunities for growth and connection. Perfection is an illusion; authenticity is what connects us to ourselves and others. - The Power of Saying No
One of the key ways to prioritize presence over perfection is learning to say no. Many people, particularly those who struggle with perfectionism, overcommit in an effort to appear capable and accomplished. However, constantly saying yes to others can lead to burnout and resentment. Niequist teaches that setting boundaries and learning to say no is a form of self-care and self-respect. Key takeaway: Learn to say no without guilt. Setting boundaries helps you protect your time and energy, allowing you to focus on what truly matters to you. - Rest and Restoration
Rest is essential to staying grounded in the present moment. In a world that often values constant productivity, taking time to rest and restore can feel indulgent or wasteful. However, Niequist reminds us that rest is not a luxury but a necessity for living a balanced, healthy life. Rest allows us to show up more fully in our work, our relationships, and our own lives. Key takeaway: Prioritize rest and restoration. When we rest, we rejuvenate, allowing ourselves to be more present, focused, and engaged in all areas of life.
How to Apply the Present Over Perfect Philosophy to Your Life
- Practice Mindfulness
Being present in the moment is a key part of embracing Present Over Perfect. Mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing, and journaling can help you focus on the here and now. Taking time to slow down and engage fully in your surroundings can reduce stress and increase joy. - Set Realistic Expectations
Let go of the need to be perfect. Set achievable goals for yourself and take pride in the process rather than obsessing over the end result. Remember, your worth is not determined by your achievements or how flawless your work is. - Simplify Your Life
Overcomplicating your schedule, home, and mind with too many commitments and possessions can detract from your ability to be present. Declutter your space, simplify your schedule, and focus on quality over quantity. - Create Time for What Brings You Joy
Instead of filling every moment with tasks, create time for activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s reading, cooking, hiking, or spending time with loved ones, make space for things that nourish your soul. - Let Go of Perfectionism in Your Relationships
Don’t feel pressured to be the “perfect” partner, parent, friend, or colleague. Show up authentically, and be vulnerable with others. Perfectionism can keep us from having deep, meaningful relationships, while being ourselves creates genuine connection. - Unplug from Digital Distractions
Social media and constant digital connection can keep you in a state of perpetual doing, checking, and comparing. Schedule regular “digital detoxes” to focus on the present moment, engage in face-to-face conversations, and enjoy time with yourself or loved ones.
Conclusion: The Freedom of Presence
Present Over Perfect is an invitation to choose freedom over the heavy burden of perfectionism. By letting go of the pressure to be flawless and embracing the messiness of life, we open ourselves to greater connection, deeper joy, and a more fulfilling existence. Life isn’t about achieving perfection—it’s about showing up, being real, and savoring the moments as they unfold.
As Shauna Niequist so powerfully writes, “Perfection isn’t the point. Presence is the point. Peace, joy, connection—those are the gifts we get when we stop striving and start being.” In a world that often values achievement and appearance above all else, choosing to live in the present moment is an act of courage and self-compassion. Let go of perfect, and embrace the beauty of being fully present in your life.